Chapter 39: Continuing and Enduring to the End
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” said L. Frank Baum who wrote “The Wizard of Oz.” Mr. Baum’s famous story tells of Dorothy who is homesick for Kansas. He ends the story happily when, after many adventures, Dorothy wakes up in her own bed and says, “There’s no place like home.”
Some endings are predictable. When you start a book, you know it will have a last page. When you begin a movie, you know it will have a final scene. Some endings are gradual like the changing of seasons and the almost imperceptible reality that today you are a day older than yesterday.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” including summer vacation. For some mothers of school-age children, the end of summer brings what could be called end-of-summer blues. These moms begin to feel gloomy as the fun and freedom of summer wind down. Summer is exhilarating for them. Other mothers feel end-of-summer blues because the fun and freedom of summer are exhausting. They long for the routine of the school year and are counting down the days.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” including youth and vitality. At some point you will not have preschool-age, high school-age, or college-age children. One day your career will be over, and you will find yourself going to a retirement party where you are the honoree. The time will come when you will attend more funerals than baby or bridal showers. These endings can be difficult, much like postpartum depression after the birth of a baby. Some miss their friends and colleagues, others the intense opportunity to learn and perform, others the challenges, others the routine, others simply don’t like change; still others struggle as they lose prestige, responsibility, and physical and/or mental ability.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” but some experiences may take a long time to put in the past, to resolve, to end. Psychiatrists use the phrase “ambiguous loss” to describe human response to truly devastating life events such as severe loss in natural disaster, accident, assault, kidnapping, war, for example. These events are sometimes seemingly impossible to put in the past. The haunting reliving surfaces as nightmares and daymares. It can be diagnosed as a mental condition, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
But when I first heard about ambiguous loss, I thought of something quite different, something I've experienced in my own life. If you are like me, sometimes I feel melancholy but don’t know why. Sometimes I feel like something bad or sad has happened but can't zero in on what it is. Sometimes life piles on life on top of life, emotion upon emotion, to the extent I can't understand, measure, categorize, or even think through it all. Sometimes I just feel lonely, kind of like being homesick.
BYU Professor Lynn Williams is somewhat of an authority on homesickness. (See his 2011 devotional talk: “Will Heaven Feel Like Home When You Get There.”) He lived in Wales for almost fifty years until he moved to the United States. He thought because he knew many Americans and because he had seen countless American movies that he would not experience culture shock. He was wrong. Although he is happy in Utah, he longs for the sites, smells, choirs, traditions, and people of Wales.
One day when Professor Williams felt a wave of homesickness, the thought came that he might not be longing for Wales, his earthly place of birth, but perhaps for the sites, smells, choirs, traditions, and people of his premortal birthplace. This awareness brought comfort and has served to bridge the endings that have come in his life. He said: “I hope that in your quieter moments, [you] sense… a yearning to return to your heavenly home.” There is no place like that home.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime." Someday your heart will stop beating, and when that day comes, a belief in the God who made your heart will have made all endings better. Even the ultimate end of life can be anticipated rather than feared. To see the Person who made your heart can be an anticipated homecoming. Ron Gardner expressed his longing to be back with God in these poignant words:
I've recently come to an ending. For seventeen years I have written a monthly message for the sisters in our ward as a supplement to the official visiting teaching message, as I explained in the preface to this book. In April 2018, the latter-day prophet, Russell M. Nelson, put an end to visiting teaching and, although he could not have known it, my monthly messages. "Everything has to come to an end, sometime."
In scripture the Lord uses two words—endure and continue—to help you get through to the end of life and every ending in between. “Endure to the end” may sound negative because it implies prolonged suffering, but with a positive perspective, endure may be a statement of God’s confidence in you. Perhaps He is saying: “I know you can make it through; you can endure this.
The Lord also commands: “Continue in the path until the end” (2 Nephi 33:9); “Continue in faith even unto the end” (Mosiah 4:6). Continuing connotes keeping on, trying again, working through, moving forward, hurdling obstacles. Can you hear the word of the Lord in your mind saying: “_________ (insert your name), continue in these things” (D&C 66:12), for “lo, I am with [you] to the end” (D&C 24:10).
"“Everything has to come to an end, sometime," including this book. You continued and endured to the end. Thank you!
(c) Marilynne Todd Linford, 2018
Some endings are predictable. When you start a book, you know it will have a last page. When you begin a movie, you know it will have a final scene. Some endings are gradual like the changing of seasons and the almost imperceptible reality that today you are a day older than yesterday.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” including summer vacation. For some mothers of school-age children, the end of summer brings what could be called end-of-summer blues. These moms begin to feel gloomy as the fun and freedom of summer wind down. Summer is exhilarating for them. Other mothers feel end-of-summer blues because the fun and freedom of summer are exhausting. They long for the routine of the school year and are counting down the days.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” including youth and vitality. At some point you will not have preschool-age, high school-age, or college-age children. One day your career will be over, and you will find yourself going to a retirement party where you are the honoree. The time will come when you will attend more funerals than baby or bridal showers. These endings can be difficult, much like postpartum depression after the birth of a baby. Some miss their friends and colleagues, others the intense opportunity to learn and perform, others the challenges, others the routine, others simply don’t like change; still others struggle as they lose prestige, responsibility, and physical and/or mental ability.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime,” but some experiences may take a long time to put in the past, to resolve, to end. Psychiatrists use the phrase “ambiguous loss” to describe human response to truly devastating life events such as severe loss in natural disaster, accident, assault, kidnapping, war, for example. These events are sometimes seemingly impossible to put in the past. The haunting reliving surfaces as nightmares and daymares. It can be diagnosed as a mental condition, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
But when I first heard about ambiguous loss, I thought of something quite different, something I've experienced in my own life. If you are like me, sometimes I feel melancholy but don’t know why. Sometimes I feel like something bad or sad has happened but can't zero in on what it is. Sometimes life piles on life on top of life, emotion upon emotion, to the extent I can't understand, measure, categorize, or even think through it all. Sometimes I just feel lonely, kind of like being homesick.
BYU Professor Lynn Williams is somewhat of an authority on homesickness. (See his 2011 devotional talk: “Will Heaven Feel Like Home When You Get There.”) He lived in Wales for almost fifty years until he moved to the United States. He thought because he knew many Americans and because he had seen countless American movies that he would not experience culture shock. He was wrong. Although he is happy in Utah, he longs for the sites, smells, choirs, traditions, and people of Wales.
One day when Professor Williams felt a wave of homesickness, the thought came that he might not be longing for Wales, his earthly place of birth, but perhaps for the sites, smells, choirs, traditions, and people of his premortal birthplace. This awareness brought comfort and has served to bridge the endings that have come in his life. He said: “I hope that in your quieter moments, [you] sense… a yearning to return to your heavenly home.” There is no place like that home.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime." Someday your heart will stop beating, and when that day comes, a belief in the God who made your heart will have made all endings better. Even the ultimate end of life can be anticipated rather than feared. To see the Person who made your heart can be an anticipated homecoming. Ron Gardner expressed his longing to be back with God in these poignant words:
Who knows the burden placed on your heart?
Whence comes the longing when shall it part?
No matter the sorrow, He'll not forsake
I've recently come to an ending. For seventeen years I have written a monthly message for the sisters in our ward as a supplement to the official visiting teaching message, as I explained in the preface to this book. In April 2018, the latter-day prophet, Russell M. Nelson, put an end to visiting teaching and, although he could not have known it, my monthly messages. "Everything has to come to an end, sometime."
In scripture the Lord uses two words—endure and continue—to help you get through to the end of life and every ending in between. “Endure to the end” may sound negative because it implies prolonged suffering, but with a positive perspective, endure may be a statement of God’s confidence in you. Perhaps He is saying: “I know you can make it through; you can endure this.
The Lord also commands: “Continue in the path until the end” (2 Nephi 33:9); “Continue in faith even unto the end” (Mosiah 4:6). Continuing connotes keeping on, trying again, working through, moving forward, hurdling obstacles. Can you hear the word of the Lord in your mind saying: “_________ (insert your name), continue in these things” (D&C 66:12), for “lo, I am with [you] to the end” (D&C 24:10).
"“Everything has to come to an end, sometime," including this book. You continued and endured to the end. Thank you!
(c) Marilynne Todd Linford, 2018
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