Ministering Sisters

            One day when life took a bad turn, I thought of the opening words to Charles Dicken’s novel A Tale of Two Cities : “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair”             The bad turn was I found more cancer. The doctor diagnosed it as metastatic. It took too many tests, two surgeries, chemotherapy again, radiation, a new diagnosis of a serious lung infection that took a year and 1,700 milligrams of antibiotic a day to heal, dental troubles with two root canals, eight crowns, and an unrelated surgery. I spent eighteen months going from bed, to chair, to couch, day in and day out. I thought of my health as the worst of times, a season of darkness, the winter of despair. I felt frustrated about this unpleasant interruption to my good life and felt anxious about my future. (I look back now and ...

            How a mother responds when she discovers her child has lied can help the child either internalize the value of honesty or make matters worse. If Mother excuses the lie: “Oh, my sweetie didn’t mean to tell a lie. He just forgot what really happened,” she covers a lie with a lie. The other extreme is if Mother allows herself to become angry and punishes too sternly.             Another damaging reaction to a child who has been caught in a lie is for Mother to make it about herself. If she blurts out or even thinks phrases such as: “Oh, I have failed as a mother!” or “What will the neighbors think,” in time the child will realize that Mother is more concerned about her reputation than about her child’s honesty. Mother can self-check her motive by analyzing her first thoughts after learning about the lie. If she immediately sees in her mind future humiliating headlines announcing to the world that her grownup child is b...