Chapter 35: When a Child Lies
How a mother responds when she discovers her child has lied can help the child either internalize the value of honesty or make matters worse. If Mother excuses the lie: “Oh, my sweetie didn’t mean to tell a lie. He just forgot what really happened,” she covers a lie with a lie. The other extreme is if Mother allows herself to become angry and punishes too sternly. Another damaging reaction to a child who has been caught in a lie is for Mother to make it about herself. If she blurts out or even thinks phrases such as: “Oh, I have failed as a mother!” or “What will the neighbors think,” in time the child will realize that Mother is more concerned about her reputation than about her child’s honesty. Mother can self-check her motive by analyzing her first thoughts after learning about the lie. If she immediately sees in her mind future humiliating headlines announcing to the world that her grownup child is b...